Graphic masthead of Funny Business characters. HOME Graphic navigation bar for Funny Business web site.

Fast answers!

Welcome to the Funny Farm! We have baby animals - from goats to pigs - as well as pony rides, and a pony carousel. Meet Hamlet, one of the animal stars of the Funny Farm. Want to witness delight? Bring the Funny Farm to your next event, and smiles will blossom!

What is it like to have the Funny Farm at your celebration?
Photograph of calves lying down and standing in a stall.
Imagine the thrill your children will feel when they get to meet the animals in the petting zoo. Baby animals have a charm and a draw like nothing else - except children! Click here!

The car door opens - a child's foot comes into view, then the child steps out of the car. Pushing with their whole body to close the door, the child is out and looks around. They freeze, eyes locked on the wire pen on the lawn. "Daddy, they have baby goats!" The next moment, the parent shouts at the racing child "slow down!", but it does no good. The child has seen one of the animals from the Funny Farm, and no amount of shouting will stop them. In seconds they are at the fence, straining to pat the good natured goat, pig, or sheep wandering placidly inside. Minutes later, the parents arrive, smiling as widely as their child. There is something contagious in the joy a child experiences petting one of the animals in the Funny Farm!

Click to find out about the Funny Farm petting zoo and pony ride options, or send a price request form for your event!

The Funny Farm is USDA certfied for the health and welfare of the animals, and your guests.

The "Scapegoat" Event  

Do you ever find the need for someone, or some THING to blame your mistakes on? Well, we have the perfect solution - a scapegoat! We will bring a cute little goat to your facility and you can blame away. You can say "blame it on HIM!" Or, "Here's your scapegoat". It's a great way to liven a sales meeting or any function where you are trying to put the past behind you in a humorous way.

A pic of a goat
The "Kiss my Ass" Event  

Instead of just saying it, you can send a 24 carat, embossed, gilt edged invitation instead of speaking the words: "I cordially invite you to kiss my ass."

For other people, that might result in dismissal. We'll help you not only get away with it, but turn it into a photo event! Don't put your ass on the line - use ours! A cute, loveable miniature donkey, a.k.a. an ass, ready to be kissed. You can keep your burro safe at home and arrange to have ours at the office, club, or event to be kissed. Our ass is in good shape, ready for some ass kissing, and the laughs that will follow. Photo opportunity? Indeed! Let people get a new photo for their resume or a profile picture for facebook, showing that indeed, they are an ass kisser.

To bring in a load of office fun, borrow our little friend for the day so that it is yours, and invite the rest of the group to kiss your ass. You'll be glad you did!

Pic of a donkey Pic of a donkey
Petting Zoos  
Photo of a little boy meeting a goat in a petting zoo. Pic of a baby goat sleeping in wood chips.
The Funny Farm looks for animals with a gentle temperament, with a curiosity about people. This makes for a nice critter at the petting zoo, and more fun for the kids! Click here! "Hey Mom, that one's thinking!" Whether they are sleeping, talking, eating, or just getting to know the children, Funny Farm animals seem cute and cuddly! Click here!
Photo of baby calf and two girls. Photo of family with petting zoo animals.
We populate our zoo with friendly, cute animals. Next, we make sure the Funny Farm is staffed by friendly attendents who keep the animals clean, and everyone happy! Click to go closer. The Funny Farm can travel to your house, and transform your backyard into a fun-filled field trip! We provide a sturdy, portable fence for our kids, and yours! Click for a larger picture.
Photo of goats, ducks, and a bunny in backyard petting zoo. Photograph of a goat in a petting zoo.
Children may say 'look, that's one of the 3 Billy Goat Gruffs'! Or maybe they'll spot Peter Rabbit. The Funny Farm comes with a wide variety of animals for guests to meet! Click here! "Hey - psssst - got any hay? C'mon, lemme have a bite of that carrot. Want a picture? Alright, I'll pose - but you gotta bring me a dandelion or something later, okay?" Click here!
Picture of a baby goat in a food trough. Photo of ducks, ducklings, and baby goats in a petting zoo.
Even without trying, baby animals are extremely cute! The animals in the Funny Farm are clean, friendly, and meet all USDA requirements for petting zoos. Click to get closer! Ducks, baby goats, ducklings, geese - they all get along. You might think your child is Dr. Doolittle when they talk to the animals - and the animals talk back! Click to go closer!
Picture of a lady and child with goats, and ducks in a petting zoo. Picture of two goats in a petting zoo.
It is a joy to watch your child play with animals! Funny Farm tries to provide the sweetest, most patient, loving animals available for the best time possible. Click to be closer! We have to admit, these two look like a pair of patient listeners. Animals will often listen without judging - sweet, gentle friends your child will remember for year. Click to get closer.
Pic of sheep washing.
Photograph of a goat in a petting zoo.
Time to prep for the next event! USDA regs require vaccinations, regular veterinary check ups, and facility standards. The Funny Farm is fully USDA certified! Click for a closer look. Bribing a goat is a good idea when you want to get a picture. A few flattering words, along with a handful of fresh clover, works wonders with a goat! Click to get closer.
Hamlet, a star for your event  

The Funny Farm has many friendly residents, yet Hamlet is one of our most stylish. He is a sweet swine who dresses so fine, you may want him around all the time! Hamlet is perfect for a "kiss a pig" contest or promise, since he's friendly, tame, and clean. Hamlet is a perfect little attention getter for your event, offering your guests a sweet, unexpected diversion. They'll smile, they'll laugh, and they might even want their photo taken with Hamlet as if he was a celebrity. He has a sweet way at events, and you'll be glad he's there when you hear the laughter of your guests!

Hamlet is kept clean, is tame, and does not live in the kind of conditions often associated wth his relatives. He's like an unusual breed of dog, and as you can see from the photos below, people stop to say hello! Now, suppose you are arranging a participant for a "kiss a pig" contest? Maybe you have a school principal or an office manager, and they have to keep their end of the contest. Hamlet is an excellent choice. He is photogenic, a good kisser, and not a pig when it comes to sharing the stage!

For all your friendly pig needs, there is Hamlet!

Photo of Hamlet, full face with glitter.

Have no worries; just a bit of glitter, with a gold 'pig'ment
to make it more glittery. It is safe for humans, and piglets!

Picture of a friendly pig, Hamlet, wearing an outfit. Photo of a happy woman meeting Hamlet, the tame pig.

What was the famous line about when pigs fly? If you
like, we can set you up with a pig who has wings!

Hamlet looks adorable in his wings. Your guests will enjoy
visiting with Hamlet, and maybe even pose for a picture!

Pic of Hamlet, the domesticated pig. Photograph of Hamlet the Funny Farm friendly pig wearing a stylish hat.

Hamlet is style conscious, and does his best to fit in.
Have a plaid golfer's hat dress code? He's your pig!

Hamlet is raised to be patient, gentle, and kind. That,
with his fashion sense, make him a hit at any event!

Photo of a dark haired woman patting Hamlet. Photo of Hamlet dressed in shimmering wings outfit.
You might expect that guys will like Hamlet; you'll find the
ladies like him, too! How often is it they find a pig with wings?
Hamlet is ready to meet and greet. Just be sure to spell it correctly, or he might use his wings to fly off the handle!.
Pony Rides - The story in smiles
Photo of a little boy waving while riding a shetland pony.
Photograph of a little girl on a Shetland pony.
"Mom - look at me!"
"Go, Wildfire, go! Walk like the wind!"
Click to find out about the pony ride options.
Click to send a price request form.
Photograph of a boy riding a pony ride.
Photograph of a texas girl on a hand led pony.
"I'm the sheriff in these here parts, pard."
"What? Did you say horses bite?"
Photo of a boy on a pony ride. Photograph of a little boy riding a pony with his mother.
"A pony today, and a wild, bucking bronco tomorrow."
Click to find out about the pony ride options.
Click to send a price request form.
Photo of little girl riding a pony. Pic of ponies in a carousel waiting for riders.
"Mom, can we buy him and take him home? Pleeeeease?!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!"
Photo of two girls riding ponies in a pony carousel.
Photograph of a cute girl with a pony.
"Hey everyone, follow me!"
"What's your name?"

A picture you will always treasure . . .
There is something about kids that makes them want to ride stuff. They start with a stuffed animal, then they try to ride the dog, at last settling for a ride on mom or dad's back. "Piggy back me!" Is it any wonder that parents love pony rides almost as much as children? We think that if they could, a child stay on a pony all the way up to puberty; that's how much they love the pony ride!

Our ponies are sweet, gentle natured, and ready to make wishes come true for your child. Whether you select a hand led pony ride, or one of our pony carousels, you'll get wide smiles and excited stories of "'member when I rode the horsie?" You'll have photos of your child having the time of their life, with their pony, who they will promise to always remember.

We love ponies, too, and take pride in the neat, professional appearance of our staff and all of the equipment that we use. From the saddles and tack used for our ponies, to the trailers and trucks used to transport the animals to your event, we keep everything top notch. All animals are groomed thoroughly prior to each event, and the equipment is checked for safety and cleanliness. To complete the package, our ponies are friendly, well loved, and will be happy to make new friends at your party!

Speaking of ponies, we subcontract with a company that we have done business with for years and years on ponies. They have a large stable of small, very tame, very pretty ponies that are well groomed with nice saddles. We have checked out all the pony and petting zoo people in the area and we deal with these people because of the quality, the professionalism, their dependability, and their friendliness to children and their parents. We have never had any problems with them. We act as their agents representing YOU the consumer. (Please review the Funny Farm FAQ to understand the safety and facility requirements.)

Click to find out about the pony ride options.
Click to send a price request form.

A Little More About The Funny Farm
Petting zoos are a wonderful addition to a birthday party. We have been supplying the DFW metroplex with high quality petting zoos for years now (since 1991). We work with a farm that we have done business with for over 15 years on our petting zoos. Why don't we work with other petting zoos? It is because we are so picky about who we will work with. To be part of the Funny Farm, any zoo has to answer 3 important questions.

    1. Are the animals tame?
    2. Are they well cared for – ie, clean, have shot records up to date, etc.?
    3. Do they carry all the necessary USDA licenses?

You would be surprised how many fly by night operations there are in the DFW area. Anyone who lives in the country and has a few animals thinks they can run a petting zoo. We don't take this view, and so there are very, very few zoos that we will work with. Why are we so picky? Because we know you don’t want just ANYONE for your zoo. You want REAL professionals that care about YOUR child and the other children’s SAFETY!

It's the big things, and the little things, that make a difference. The Funny Farm will always clean up before leaving. The animals will be healthy, and vaccinated. We provide a hand washing station at each event along with signs that indicate proper hand washing methods, and details about the hand santizer used. Our staff will be friendly, courteous, and always care about the animals in the Funny Farm. Because of our attention to the big things and the little things, we know you and your guests will enjoy the Funny Farm at your event.

More questions? We tried to put the answers in the Funny Farm FAQ. When you are ready to add the delight of the Funny Farm review your petting zoo options, and send a price request form for your event!

For the safety of our animals, as well as your children, the Funny Farm is inspected and licensed by the USDA as a Class C exhibitor. This insures that our animals live in clean, safe conditions, with appropriate shelter, bedding, and that all nutritional needs are met. Each year, our veterinarian certifies the health and care with documentation to the USDA.

Click to find out about the Funny Farm petting zoo and pony ride options!
Click to send a price request to add the Funny Farm to your event!

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© March 2015 DFW Funny Business, providing gentle animals for petting zoos and pony rides.

DFW Funny Business has animal performers who add to the party. We have gentle animals so your event will have more laughs, more smiles, and more energy in Addison, Aledo, Allen, Alvarado, Alvord, Anna, Argyle, Arlington, Aubrey, Austin, and Azle with our crew on hand to help. Count on us to get the giggles for happy, smiling kid's faces in photos taken with pettable critters in Balch Springs, Bardwell, Bartonville, Bedford, Ben Franklin, Blue Ridge, Boyd, Bridgeport, Buckingham, or Burleson.

Imagine the young guests at your party, event, commemoration, celebration, gathering, supper, festival, or summer vacation outing in Caddo Mills, Campbell, Carrollton, Cedar Hill, Celeste, Celina, Chico, Cleburne, Cockrell Hill, The Colony, Colleyville, Combine, Commerce, Cooper, Coppell, Copper Canyon, Corinth, Corral City, Crandall, Crossroads, or Crowley laughing with Hamlet - maybe even daring one another to kiss him! Add a petting zoo for your birthday or famiy reunion along with an animal balloon maker or a face painter. That way they'll have even more to treasure along with the memory - and the photos will be one of a kind!

We provide experienced, skilled handlers at the Red Barn petting zoo and also at the pony rides. You'll have giggles and wide smiles in Collin County, Dallas County, Denton County, Parker County, Tarrant County, and all over the DFW region. Our live animals, such as calfs, sheep, goats, and piglets are another reason for happy kids in Decatur, Denton, DeSoto, Double Oak, Duncanville, Enloe, Ennis, Euless, Fairview, Farmers Branch, Farmersville, Ferris, Flower Mound, Forney, Forreston, Fort Worth, Ft Worth, or Frisco. Riding a pony is a fabulous memory for the participants!

Guests will enjoy waving to their parents as they ride a pony - and count on those parents or friends to snap photos, pictures, videos and film of the big day in Irving, Garland, Godley, Grand Prairie, Grandview, Grapevine, Greenville, Haltom City, Haslet, Hickory Creek, Highland Park, Highland Village, Hurst, Hurst/Euless/Bedford, HEB, or Hutchins. Photos are more memorable in Irving, Italy, Josephine, Joshua, Justin, Kaufman, Keene, Keller, Kennedale, Klondike, Krugerville, Krum, Lake Creek, Lake Dallas, Lakewood Village, Lancaster, Lavon, Lewisville, Little Elm, Lone Oak, and Lucas with Hamlet as a co-star. Folks will talk about the party they attended in Mabank, Mansfield, Maypearl, McKinney, Melissa, Mesquite, Midlothian, Milford, Millsap, and Murphy, Nevada, Newark, North Richland Hills, Oak Point, Palmer, Paradise, Pecan Gap, Pilot Point, Plano, Ponder, Poolville, Princeton - even Prosper, when they have a picture to post on facebook!

Our goal is to give your guests in Quinlan, Red Oak, Rhome, Richardson, Richland Hills, Rio Vista, Roanoke, Rockwall, Rosser, Rowlett, Royse City, Sachse, St Paul, Sanger, Scurry, Seagoville, Shady Shores, Southlake, Springtown, Sunnyvale, Terrell, University Park, Venus, Waxahachie, Weatherford, Westlake, Westminster, Weston, Whitt, Wilmer, Wolfe City, and Wylie more reasons to smile. Hamlet is just one of those reasons, and one of the ways that DFW Funny Business makes your happening even more happening. Contact us for options to make this event the most memorable one ever!

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